Nosy

There is one activity bound to drive just about everyone else crazy with curiosity. Just the other day, buddy attempted to carry out a little experiment. Gathering the most important essentials, including a super-thick skin, his best blank canvas face, and the attitude of not caring about anyone’s opinion, buddy set out on his quest.

He knew his mission: to incite, enrage and provoke people. To piss them off and yet lamely flatter them.

A horribly, terrifyingly dull as a sack of wet turds woman was the first to witness his antics. His nakedly bared soul matched his brazen behaviour. She had a very difficult time struggling with the desire to fully give into the warm rush of feelings flooding her down to her toes, or to bury her bemused smile into her crimson face. Was he really doing what she thought he was doing? Was it really all for and about her? A scant hope crossed her mind that she would love to be part of the end result. Buddy rolled his eyes.

Moving on.
A tall blond man irritatingly snuck little peeks from behind his newspaper; a pathetic attempt to convince people he actually read the business section. Eager eyes broke up the dull billiard ball that was his face, that irritating man, also known as the human hemorrhoid. He seemed to be enjoying buddy’s antics. A leering smile split open the paper bag face, barley containing the desperate unheard cries of “yes me, it has to be for me!” Buddy felt nauseated.

Moving on.

The last straw was the meddling old coot that could be anyone’s grandfather, that is, if they were so unfortunate. Talk about slim pickings today, but one can’t command the ideal audience once courage finally nudges you to pursue a long sought after challenge. Just keep doing what you have always wanted to do, like nobody’s watching, although often they were watching. Freedom of the soul can only be achieved from pushing yourself to take the leap of no longer doing in under cover, in disguise and behind closed doors.
Wait at minute! The silly old bugger is actually coming over to buddy just as things were going great and he was feeling comfortable in his own skin while he displayed his innermost self more than he ever dared to think about. A nasty knowing idiotic smile spread from behind a pair of lips that were swallowing themselves in the old geezer’s know it all eagerness. He really thinks this is about him and for him!

That’s it! This is the last time buddy ever dared to be so brave and so exposed again! Take one risk and you enjoy only a moment of pride before everyone thinks your personal journey is open to their critiquing. Storming back out into the street, buddy seethed with embarrassment and rage at his lack of judgment-he could never show his face in here again! He replayed the horrible assertion from the horrible wrinkled up prune faced nut job.

“Just make sure you spell my name right!”

Yeah, as if I was writing about you, as if I would write about any of you sods! Never again would buddy even think about writing in public. Some things were best left behind closed doors.

“Yeah, spell my name right!”

“Sure thing! By the way, do you spell nosy fucker with one k or two?